Upgrade Your Summer to Easy
Finally, we had a normal school year, and our hopes for a glorious summer soared. For it to go well, I recommend having a collaborative mindset and chatting about summer’s expectations with the main stakeholder – your adolescent.
It’s okay that your ideas for a delightful summer differ from your child’s.
You already know that how you communicate with your child about summer activities and responsibilities matters. Forget the command and demand authoritative style as it results in rebellion, arguments, and pushback. Instead, use an authoritarian route. Format an invitation that sounds like this; “Let’s talk about what our summer will look like.” With respect and interest, ask for their thoughts and ideas using inclusive and open-ended language. And, be face to face for sure.
Establish a collaborative and listening environment.
Without pushing your agenda of screen time* limits, chores, and bedtime, ask them what is important to them. They may surprise you if they plan to earn money, purge their closet, or organize the pictures on their devices. It won’t surprise you if they want to sleep in, hang out with friends or play video games. Your child cherishes being seen and heard by you.
Together agree upon expectations: balancing fun and responsibilities.
Brainstorming without judging leads to respectful and shared decision making. By agreeing to who does what and when, clarity and ownership kick in. This process honors your child’s urge for autonomy and independence. Plus, they see you more as an ally and not so much as a boss.
I can’t promise a conflict-free summer, yet I know adolescents are likelier to stay in the lines when they participate in drawing them.
I believe in you,
P.S. I’m here if you need coaching this summer. Click here to chat with me. Take advantage of this summer sale!
*Extra Credit – Do a Google search on the effects of social media on kids’ mental health as related to content and use. Ask your kids to do it, too. Talk about your findings. Information is power.
©2023 JoAnn Schauf, MS, LLC Your Tween & You | All rights reserved.