How to Have a Sweet Chat

By JoAnn Schauf

Let’s talk about screen time for example. We share the same pleasure phenomena as our adolescents when it comes to screen time. We spend just as much time texting, watching videos, scrolling social media, and playing games as our kids. We feel out of balance and frustrated by time wasted and lost productivity yet, we love the dopamine dings.

Your adolescent may have answers for you. Begin your approach voiced in the first person and in a comfortable setting san devices. Next up is your commitment to brevity. Anything that sounds like a lecture is a lecture. Avoid the lecture. Finally, remember the purpose of this chat is to solicit advice from them. Stick to the agenda. It goes without saying that you understand your child’s devices are valued extensions of them, and they most likely know more about them than you do.

• Self-monitor – Chat with them about your challenges and over-use of screen time. Why it’s hard for you to ignore texts, stop a game before reaching the next level, not binging on one more episode – whatever is specific to you. The conflict between feeling good and being good is real. This establishes common ground. You want common ground.

• Side-effects – Transparently admit the obvious: connecting and escaping feel good, and sometimes life sucks so we need a diversion or to be understood. Conversely, talk about specific drawbacks: wasting time, procrastinating, exercising less, or having to play catch-up at work. It’s your humble humanity that will touch your child’s heart.

• Re-set – Ask them what you could do differently. Their brains function unlike ours. They problem-solve and develop solutions we can’t even imagine. They will you’re your respect, value, and appreciation. Your vulnerability is a sign of strength and leadership. You want more of this, and they do, too.

Magic happens when we change our voice and chat about truths, explore ideas or ask for help. Choose your topic and have fun!

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